Being Me

I was at first lonely.
How could I not be?
Just look all around me
Everyone seems to be mingling around
And have no trouble in doing so
While here I am, still standing still
Still learning to say hello
Without stuttering
I used to think that when I have found it
My life would be complete
That I will no longer have any worries
Or at least, I wouldn't feel so pathetic
Or feel sorry for myself
I used to think that if I have love;
I'll have it all.


Now, now I think that maybe I could be wrong
I have come to the ways of loving myself
Every part of me. Every thing that I do in my life
I have come to love my quiet nights
I have come to be okay with being alone
I have come to learn not to expect things
I have come to embrace my loneliness
And use it as best as I possibly could
'Cause I thought maybe I don't need to have love;
In order to have it all.


'Cause when I looked closely at my life
I think I already have it all
Love is all around me
I just need to know what type of love it is
Maybe it's not the kind of love in the movies
But hey, life is not like a movie
Life is not written by Nicholas Sparks
Or directed by any Gary Marshall
Life is written by God
And is directed by us
So, the best I can do is to just wait for the script
And then maybe direct myself along the way
And when God decides that I am ready to handle "Love"
I will naturally direct myself towards it and act upon it
'Till then, I'll just focus solely on the little little things in life
Little things that keep me alive
Little things that made my life big; that makes me--Me.


I guess my eyes are open now
My heart has been set free from the cage that I have unintentionally built
That I've finally see that there's no use in wondering 
"Why am I alone?" "Why am I me?" "When will my time come?"
'Cause oh, let me knock some sense to myself!
I am not alone. Never have been.
I am myself, because there's no one else I'd rather be.
And my time has come. I just need to learn to make the best of it.
I need to remind myself to stop whining and start living.


After all, what is so bad in being alone?
'Cause if you truly know Who to lean on, you'll never feel alone.
And if you have faith, you will not question about the time or the existence of yourself
If you truly trust God, then your soul will never be empty
It will just yearn for His love more and more
Please not the society, but please Him
And if you do that, He will bring pleasant things to you.

"Be careful with what you filled your heart with.

Filled your heart with something that never leaves.

And the One that never leaves is God and God alone." -Yasmin Mogahed.