almost there

Things that used to matter seems so insignificant now. The more I see what is out there, the more I know what I want. I have overcome these insecurities of mine--if not all, then maybe some. Having said that, I know what is best for me and I know what I deserve. Hence, there might be certain things that I will push away or maybe a certain someone. I might seem selfish or taking things for granted but at this point of my life, I know what I deserve. I might not completely know what I truly want, but I know now what I do not want.

i shouldn't feel this way but...

I can't lie to myself. I can't deny it anymore. My heart still beast a little faster whenever I see you. I still think you're the most good looking person I have ever seen. And secretly, I still want you. There's not a day that goes by where I want you to say hi. I've just realised tonight, that I've lost your picture. The picture where you and me were standing side by side. The picture where I thought could be the start of something for us. I thought wrong. Maybe the lost of that picture is a wake up call for me. Maybe I have lost you or maybe I never had you in the first place so that picture was not supposed to be mine anyways so there you go; no more you. You were never mine.. But why do I feel like I have lost something important? Why am I wide awake thinking of you when there you are, sound asleep?