My days are usually filled with classes, being invisible and quick lunches. You'll hardly notice me at the lunch table--not really the kind that laughs loudly or the kind who has an opinion in everything. I guess I prefer to stay silent instead of voicing out. Could be unhealthy, I know. My nights are usually filled with early dinners, late showers and hot green tea. Half the night will be filled with the usual daydreaming and a quick sneaky reading session while the other half of night will be filled with my pretentious acts of being busy. So you see, nothing exciting hardly happens to me. How could there be? I guess that's the perks of being a quiet human being living in this loud, noisy world.
So forgive me if I am not interesting enough for you. Forgive me for not being able to hold a conversation as long as you wanted to. How ironic it is to be someone who has a dishevelled mind but when in public; I am at loss of words. Yeah, I'm confusing that way. After all, I do write better than I speak. So forgive me if you're bored with the way I am. You can leave, it's okay. Trust me, whatever you do won't be taken to this heart. Won't be. Won't be. I am the way I am and I am tired of trying to change the way I am for the sake of trying to be what everyone wants me to be. It gets tiring trying to please everyone as while doing so, I just withered away. It's not nice you see, to be trying so hard to please everyone but at the end of the day, I am still forgotten.
Despite being who I am, despite having the kind of life where nothing exciting happens; I still don't want to be anybody else. Because I know that my quietness often saves me from merciless regrets. I know that the lack of social skills I possess often save me from unwanted attentions. I know that the invisible days and the quiet nights I share with myself gives me more room to explore this amazing world according to my own beat and no one else's. And most of all, despite it all; I know that there is more to me than meets the eye. I may not be a social butterfly and I may be a conversation killer but believe me, it is unintentional. Perhaps, I just need more time to get myself on the same page with everyone else compared to some people. Who knows, maybe when I am comfortable enough with you, you would think I am interesting after all. Maybe, maybe. Who knows?
Next time you see me sitting by myself, please come over. Talk to me, spend a little time and maybe you would not think so bad about me and maybe if you're lucky enough, you'll find the side of me that no one else has found yet; not even myself. Perhaps maybe after all those times we took in regards of knowing each other, we can be friends--or maybe even more than that.
